Seeking the reason behind death of my beloved mother was the starting point. May be I was just afraid to die myself one day. I realized then death exist. I tried to seek truth through physics. After wasting some 4 years in doing so, suddenly I thought I learned all material truth and tried to validate with Vedas (why I don't know). There I found the whole new world, totally absurd translation yet not ready to give up. Initial muscle meditation of continuous three four days or weeks (of course not continuous) sudden experience excited enough to decide to give up engineering. Then it disappeared altogether. That high level of energy went I don't know where. Then this long boring journey of CA began.
On and off of spiritual experiences and CA course and walking through jungle of financial misuse and some time frauds, rush of energy to destroy them and again finding no purpose in doing so and so, I passed CA like always without much effort on my part.
Suddenly spiritual progress began to take off too. Some of them are:
i. Flowing of peace between eyebrows while traveling bindhyabasini temple, biruwa bhaktapur.
ii. Making sense of upanishadic words without meaning.
iii. some time feeling whole sky as one big warm hug of Mother Nature,
iv. realizing Vedic word that source of eye and sun is one and same i.e. Roshani in both is one.
v. being able to feel surge of energy during full moons, i.e. as Vedas claims Chandrama Manasa, source of mind and moon is same.
vi. Being able to see even attractive woman without greed to make them own. It is so purifying experience to be able to do so without external suppression of desire. It enables to see the greatness and beauty of Mother Nature and her manifestation as mother wife and daughter and over all of them, one profound creature without whom this civilization can't move forward or simply I can't survive. Even the desire become blissful once you get purification of it. For desire is necessary for life.
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